hmm... officially 1/4 century old!!

realli feeling so emo or should i say emotion-less nowadays...

is it really cos i'm old? my frenz can feel my change... i can feel it too...

WTH?? another depression? & why is it during or near my bday??

sux...

twinkiee... told u that i actually felt more sad after seeing jam 10 days ago... u said cos i wan more... but NOOO... is cos i dun wan anymore... =)

i dunno y i felt more & more lost... its like what i used to love doing, now become nothing to me... the feeling is realli scary... i dun wan to lose all my feelings.... seriously...

Ms Huang... u brot a little emotion of mine back after seeing your card... Thank you~!!~  thou my mum tot that the bag was bot by me & asked me why i bot an ah ma bag LOL (she realli used the word ah ma w/o knowing that it was realli bot by an ah ma =x=x), but i will use it =D u noe mei nu use what also mei one LOL!!

& on 17th Nov (Tues), i had gotten my 1st 25th bday gift... it was so random!! & i'm shocked that it was one of my colls... very unexpected person... it was nothing expensive but i realli realli appreciated that... cos she actually remembered my bday & my leave!! life is so farnee sometimes LOL... each yr i will get something unexpected... hope i will get such surprises every yr LOL!!

i can tell u... that GUY realli CMI!! my bday still must make me abit pissed off... EQ realli negative man... luckily i crossed off from my list before my bday LOL!! opps i'm being too evil here... my blog la... alwaz make me show my evil side LOL!! but i still love my blog even thou it isn't popular & i haben changed the background for million years... LOL!!

& i'm lazy to upload pics!! go to my fb!! lol...

18th Nov 2009-- i went to get my parchement... & met Alf... but i forgot to take pics with him... & he din remind me zzz... so i'm really a GRADUATE NOW~~ wee~~ ceremony in SG not yet la lol...

after that, met Uncle G for food & movie... din really thank him for the treats yet... OMG... spoilt brat... so pai say... i dun take things for granted, realli... =)

19th Nov 2009-

wanted to go back to Junyuan Primary school with AH MA one... as usual the late queen did her same stunt lol & den there was continuous downpour for the day & we had to run to the school, a little drenched, & just to find out that the whole Junyuan has moved to Changi temp, & the new building is not yet ready ZZZzzzZZZ!! y i already can't get to eat my sec sch canteen food & now pri sch... realli not fated sia... SADDED!!

& ah ma accompanied me to go & cut hair in the salon she intro me... thou again my "forever sacarstic to me" mum said y i cut such an old hairstyle & said she cut that like million yrs ago, i realli do love the hair now... =D

thou we din hv a big celebration, but i am realli glad that u could accompany me even if u r bz... i realli appreciate that, AH MA!! <3 u la~~ kekeke~~~

20th Nov 2009-

mummy bot me a mini cake but i hv to go meet my twin~~ zzz...

met twinkiee in the evening...

we went to Aji Tei to eat... it was my 1st time~!!~ not bad... esp when the portions are small... its my kind of food =D

cute twinkiee made me wear this "crown"... haha malu la but made me feel like wang fei BUAHAHA... thks for the effort, twinkieeee~~

& the hand-baked cookies + card + prezzie + cakie~~ another retro bag LOL... retro is the in thing... for us now... WAHAHA~~~ARIGATOOOOOOOOOO~~~ i'm sorri that i alwaz feel tired esp when it comes to shopping... LOL old le la~~ cannot walk too much...

heartz u too~!!~ ^^

21st Nov 09-

met zhen er & jas... went to eat sakae... lol 2 days pasta meals & 2 days jap food... so qiao!!

den we went to watch christmas carol... storyline too brief... if they could show the old man's past would be nicer... & more content... but 3D effects not bad...

den we went to orchard & roam around... at 1st i realli wanted to go pub/club but maybe too late den my mood sudd down... when er er & jas wanted to go, i became reluctant... so pai say ah gals~~!!~~ hope still got chance to go next time...

i need to save money to do other stuff that i realli need le... can't spend like i wan like last time... so folks... do ti liang me hor... keke~!!~

23rd Nov 09-

received prezzies from marg & miranda & ms lai... keke~~ love them... =)

panda is loveeeeeeeee~!!~

argh... feeling quite irritated now...

cos... some guy asked if he is eligible to pursue me... wat dumb qns is tat ==

nvm... hv to ask when i told him I AM BZ!!

nvm... & said he has a little feeling for me & asked if he can proceed further but he's not asking me to be his gf... den WTF he wants?? siao...

minus pt minus pt MINUS PT!! even if i got feel (which is actually NO), minus pt until zero... LOL... makes me think tat he is ultimate insincere... BYEBYE!! lol...

maybe i was TOO obvious rejecting his dates... & he cannot dahan anymore LOL... NO PATIENCE... DEH DEH!! XXX

wants to know my reply? ask me ask me... lol but nothing interesting... BUAHAHA!!

WTH are guys thinking NOWADAYS?? DUMBOS.... ARGH ><"!!

hhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........

i dunno what i want... haiz. now i can understand lulu's "theory"...

i'm affected by u la, lulu!! keke... hmm no feel, really cannot sia... even if the guy's character is good. damn!!

& i really cannot stand... boredness... i found my "zhi ming dian" (vital point) =x

& chased by pple u dun like can REALLY be irritating... but yet, u wanna prove tat u CAN be attractive. women women... horrible... LOL!!

went to jas bday last sat...

location: DF!! haha... quite a fun & surprised day for me too...

cos... the 1st time i saw DF crowded with mountains of peeps until 2 grps of guys shared table & seats with us... =.= maybe after 12am is like tat... haha

every1 seems to turn more "touchy" in a pub!! even me WAHAHA!! opps =x=x

saw 2 guys whom i like LAST TIME... haha... & CHAO GUO HUI!! lol...

1 touched my face sudd... zzz, 1 stopped me while i was walking... & my reaction was farnee... i "EEEEEE" & he asked me y i eee... but that time i was too stunned... (1 thing by his "new look", another was shocked that he will stop me)... so i jus smiled & we walked off... den the next day, he asked me y i eee... i just told him cos i almost can't recognised his "guai" look... LOL...

was quite glad to see them again... but maybe the older one gets, the harder to be happier/get satistifed... last time if they just talked to me, i could be happy for quite a while...but now, maybe jus for 5 mins? or maybe cos dun like anymore haha... & the older i get, the more i cannot dahan to slp too late... OMG... OLD LE!!

love this pic... well taken by a guy in DF hehe... thks to him!!

=))

finally!! finally!! finally!!

someone's singing made my goosebumps jump here & there!!

& can u believe it?? its an angmo who can sing mandarin songs... his yao zhi is better than some chinese... & he realli attract me so much haha... lady killer sia.. just look at his eyes... & i believe he is a playboy WAHAHA... =x=x

& finally... there is another guy who is so worth watching for in XGDD after following for so many seasons (well, oni watch season 1 fully... the rest hmm...)... YEA... at 1st, i just tot he looked like kelvin... even the mole looks similar LOL... but end up, is his singing & personality that attracted me...

& the videos below are the best PKs i have ever watched... (except for Jam & Aska last time, of cos!!) hehe... too bad can't see Anthony anymore =( hope he will join XGDD6 or maybe, his album soon!! hohoho... but once popular, i think things will be different... hmm...

2nd PK

1st PK

Anthony's vocals... is what i am looking for in singers (e.g. similar to Eason & Yoga)...  while for Sun Zi You... feel so relaxed listening to him...

even from the video PK2, u can hear Anthony singing out of tune, but it really doesn't matter... cos i can feel his affection & its so enjoyable hearing & WATCHING him sing... hehe =D

seriously, there are more & more people who can sing... but the more i hear, the more i can't feel anything from those singers... Jam's vocals are almost perfect... but i realli can't find the "feel" anymore most of the times... i hope he can try other ways of singing... hmm my expectations of him getting high hehe... my qingfu ma... =x=x

2 bonus videos...

another number i love from LAO SUN!! so cuteeee & FUNKY!!

& the latest one... LAO SUN sang my qingfu's latest album song... & composed by JAM JAM also hehe =D =D =D

CUTE!!!

its been along time since my blog has been sayang by me...

well, some stuff has happened...

oni a few of my frens noe... however, my mood doesn't swing much cos i'm always under.......... depression hehe... but its not the serious type... so no worries...

IBMS is down... again... for the 2nd or third time?? since we used it... but this time is rather long... so i'm here typing...

AHHHHHHHHHHH~~~ bored ah...

how how how... feel so sianz...

i have found my problem... in fact long long ago... that i'm easily nervous for WHATEVER stuff... especially when i need to speak... tats my biggest prob... & the main source came from my confidence level... & what affects my confidence level is my height...

but i still should be thankful for what i have... i seriously need to change my thinking & attitude... otherwise, i noe... i will just remain... useless...

i wanna help others... but 1st, i need to help myself & my family... i always tink i can't do it tats y i can't... so i need to inject more positive thinking... i need that some1 who can influence... i noe i shouldn't depend on any1... & in fact, i do have friends who are very positve... its not that they are not convincing but its my prob...

i dun like pple who said 1 stuff & do the other... but sometimes, we tend to make this mistake without noticing too... tats where misunderstanding or negative remarks occur...

CHANGE is the only constant thing... tats what we always heard... but sometimes, we also hope that some1 does not change his or her behaviour or attitude or personaility... but we ourselves change... hopefully for the better of course...

oh yea i just finished watching the jap drama by mu chun tuo zai... called <CHANGE> i'm so attracted to him inside...

a damn gd show... if oni all the politicians were like that... i will love them...

humans r just so contradicting... so we should just laughed at ourselves sometimes... so u may see me laffing w/o any reason sometimes... & so loud that my mum says i'm siao... but i'm not mad... really =)

i can't control my attitude sometimes... i "eat soft not hard"...  i noe i'm bad to those who r good to me sometimes... & i'm stubborn... so if u cannot bear, must tell me... or u can threaten to leave me... den i may wake up... hehe... AHHHHH nooooo...

i tink i'm going mad... cos i love yet scared of challenges... i wanna meet some1 who can teach me alot of stuff... haiz... maybe i can't meet too... i shldn't habour any hopes now... i enjoy being alone & i can't imagine myself in a marriage, i tink i'm doom... its just tat when humans get lonely, they need some1 to hug & comfort them... tats not very normal so i'm trying to be normal... but din meet any gd guys yet... alrite... tat's all for now... tired... typing...

til then... my dear blog...

p.s. i encouraged my hubby, hope it brings him a smile, at least... & i need concrete plans now... which i can execute asap... otherwise, if i age somemore... tats it... GOD GOD GOD~~~ & hope can help my dad too... =)