its been along time since my blog has been sayang by me...

well, some stuff has happened...

oni a few of my frens noe... however, my mood doesn't swing much cos i'm always under.......... depression hehe... but its not the serious type... so no worries...

IBMS is down... again... for the 2nd or third time?? since we used it... but this time is rather long... so i'm here typing...

AHHHHHHHHHHH~~~ bored ah...

how how how... feel so sianz...

i have found my problem... in fact long long ago... that i'm easily nervous for WHATEVER stuff... especially when i need to speak... tats my biggest prob... & the main source came from my confidence level... & what affects my confidence level is my height...

but i still should be thankful for what i have... i seriously need to change my thinking & attitude... otherwise, i noe... i will just remain... useless...

i wanna help others... but 1st, i need to help myself & my family... i always tink i can't do it tats y i can't... so i need to inject more positive thinking... i need that some1 who can influence... i noe i shouldn't depend on any1... & in fact, i do have friends who are very positve... its not that they are not convincing but its my prob...

i dun like pple who said 1 stuff & do the other... but sometimes, we tend to make this mistake without noticing too... tats where misunderstanding or negative remarks occur...

CHANGE is the only constant thing... tats what we always heard... but sometimes, we also hope that some1 does not change his or her behaviour or attitude or personaility... but we ourselves change... hopefully for the better of course...

oh yea i just finished watching the jap drama by mu chun tuo zai... called <CHANGE> i'm so attracted to him inside...

a damn gd show... if oni all the politicians were like that... i will love them...

humans r just so contradicting... so we should just laughed at ourselves sometimes... so u may see me laffing w/o any reason sometimes... & so loud that my mum says i'm siao... but i'm not mad... really =)

i can't control my attitude sometimes... i "eat soft not hard"...  i noe i'm bad to those who r good to me sometimes... & i'm stubborn... so if u cannot bear, must tell me... or u can threaten to leave me... den i may wake up... hehe... AHHHHH nooooo...

i tink i'm going mad... cos i love yet scared of challenges... i wanna meet some1 who can teach me alot of stuff... haiz... maybe i can't meet too... i shldn't habour any hopes now... i enjoy being alone & i can't imagine myself in a marriage, i tink i'm doom... its just tat when humans get lonely, they need some1 to hug & comfort them... tats not very normal so i'm trying to be normal... but din meet any gd guys yet... alrite... tat's all for now... tired... typing...

til then... my dear blog...

p.s. i encouraged my hubby, hope it brings him a smile, at least... & i need concrete plans now... which i can execute asap... otherwise, if i age somemore... tats it... GOD GOD GOD~~~ & hope can help my dad too... =)